So…I’ve kind of been writing on things that come to me…which is probably a good thing at this point. When it comes, I’ll write about it! So here is my next topic to touch on.
You might be reading the title and going, “what is this about?” Well, first off, a small disclaimer. I am not telling people to go out and buy a car you can’t afford or sell everything you own, quit your job and go roaming around the world. What I am saying is what it takes to make the changes you want in your life and how to go about them. Well at least one idea on how to go about them. 😀
Also I’m sure you are probably thinking, “does she have to use the word pissed?” My answer is yes. Sure I could use “anger” or “mad”, but let’s face it, that doesn’t convey the imagery that I am trying to get a crossed here. So if you don’t want to read about that word, then I would suggest not reading this entry. However if that is the case, I also recommended re-evaluating where you are at in life at this point too. 😉
On with the post! So…what do I mean by “Tired vs. Pissed?” Well I will be happy to explain. When we say we are “tired” of something, it usually means we are done with whatever it is that is going on in our lives. It could be anything from: a messy house, a friend who is getting on our nerves, our job, a broke down car, or anything that might be making us feel stressed and worn out. The problem with this though is that it conveys that, yes we are tired and worn out with whatever it is in our lives, but we don’t care. We don’t know what to do about changing it, nor do we care about trying to do so. We might even think that we deserve better or need to do something about it, but we’re so tired of the situation that we don’t even try. The reason for this is because we are conditioned to think that we have to settle for whatever it is we are tired about. That we have to “deal with it” and “move on” because that’s life, it’s never going to change and it’s part of being an adult, accepting what our situations are and expecting things to change.
So many times I hear people say, “I’m so tired of….” And they sound like they are going to do something about that situation and change it, but they don’t. Do you know why? Because the motivation isn’t there and like they stated, they are literally just “tired”.
When we want to make changes in our lives, we have to find something that will make us do what needs to be done to change it. Let’s look at an example shall we?
Mary works at a local construction company. Her car is falling apart, the mileage is high and it’s just not cutting it anymore. In fact it doesn’t make sense for her to even try to do repairs on it, because it would cost her more money than it would to just buy a new car. Now Mary knows all of this and she knows that she needs a new car (or a new used car), but the problem is she can’t afford the money it would take to put down on a car. She’s looked over her finances and realizes that she could afford a car payment, but the down payment is a whole other story.
Cue her neighbor, Steve. Steve also works at the same company as Mary and yet in the last year, he has traded in his car for a new one every time. Today Mary happens to notice Steve’s 2nd new car, which causes her to look back at her car. Mary sighs to herself and says, “I’m so tired of this. I need a new car, before this one breaks down on me completely, but I can’t afford to get one. Then, of course, you have Steve, he makes the same amount as me and yet the guy has a new car? That’s his second car this year! I’m so tired of this! I know I deserve a new car, I work hard, but I just can’t do it!” Now at this Mary walks into her home and plops down on the sofa and just sits there and stews. Until finally she calms down and accepts that she can’t afford one and that she, for some reason, doesn’t deserve one.
Sounds kind of familiar? Come on…maybe not this exact story, but you know the drill! We all do! It’s the same thing, different story, right? Ok so still not convinced? How about this one then?
Joe and Sarah are a married couple with a young one at home. Sarah stays home cause they can’t afford to pay daycare and for her to work too. So Joe is the bread winner of the family. He has worked in the same field for 10 years, yet he keeps losing jobs left and right. Most of the time he’s been laid off and other times he’s left. He finds a new job and he’s excited to get back to what he does best…working on construction equipment as a mechanic. At first the job seems to be going well, but within a few months, things start to change. Suddenly he’s the butt of all the jokes, one of the guy’s he works with treats him poorly. The guy, Craig, sits around and does nothing, he’s just another mechanic and yet he has Joe doing all his work for him. He knows he’s a hard worker and he gets his work done and done right. However, he keeps getting bullied and mistreated at every turn. Every night he comes home to his wife, depressed and burned out. He looks at her and says, “I’m so tired of my job. Nothing is going right. I get kicked in the mouth every single time. I fix a machine, that my Craig won’t touch and then I get yelled at for it! I’m sorry, but I’m here to do a job, if he wants to sit on his butt, that’s his problem, not mine. The guy is threatening me on my job and he’s not even my boss!”
His wife, Sarah, feeling compassion tells him, “You need to do something about it. Tell your boss, he has to do something about it, you can’t keep going on like this. You deserve to be treated better.”
With a heavy sigh, Joe responds with, “No…I’ll just have to deal with it. We need the money and I can’t afford to get fired because of this idiot. I know it’s not your fault, but I wish you could go back to work right now, it would help so much. I work all these hours, I get kicked in the mouth and the end result is that I am just miserable. I’m just tired of it all, I don’t know what to do and I honestly don’t think there is anything I can do.”
Sarah tells him that he needs to put his foot down with Craig, but Joe refuses, again he’s afraid it could come back to get him. He thinks he should be used to it with all the problems he’s dealt with over the years, but he realizes he’s not and even though he doesn’t see an out, he feels like he has no choice but to deal with it. Because that’s what he has to do.
Ok so now does this situation sound familiar? The key here is that, when we say we are tired of something, we tend to show that we really wearing thin on whatever it is that is making our lives miserable, but we aren’t motivated enough to do anything about it, because we think it just goes with the “territory” of being an adult and just doing what we have to do.
The problem is that in both situations the situations need to, can and should change for the better. However neither party thinks it can. They are so stuck in their current problems that they can’t see a way out and sometimes they don’t want to.
But I’ve got a secret to make those changes happen! You see…it’s where it becomes important to “get pissed” so to speak. Why? Because when we get pissed, we are beyond motivated to change our current situations, no matter what they might be or how bad things are.
I’ll stop here for now and I’ll you think about this for a bit. Then I’ll touch on the second part of this blog post. Believe me…you will want to stick around for it, because it will be worth the read!