So here is the second part of this…post of mine. 😀
The part about how much different the phrase, “I’m pissed” can be. You see this phrase can be powerful, it can be motivating, and it can be driving. The phrase can create passion, desire and determination in our very souls. Now this phrase isn’t about just being mad or angry, it’s not about being jealous, it’s about realizing you don’t have to settle for anything less then what YOU are worth.
How so? Well let me explain! You see, when we say, “I’m pissed…” we tend to automatically want to make a change, whatever that change is, we want to make it. We don’t stop until whatever it is that has created the use of that phrase, no longer is a problem or exists. We tend to be so determined to fix whatever it is, that nothing can stand in our way.
Why is this? Because no one likes feeling pissed about anything in life. We, as human beings, have a desire to be happy. So, therefore if something has us that upset, we tend to direct our energy towards it, until we have come to a solution. Now funny thing is, that this phrase and this feeling is both a negative emotion that induces a positive reaction. Confused yet? Well, as I said, we as humans don’t like the feeling it creates within us, that’s not a good emotion to have. However, the positive is that it ignites a passion inside of us to bring about change in our lives, change that most likely needs to happen in one way or the other.
I’m going to go back to my previous examples to show you what I mean.
As we know Mary needs a new car, she knows that she can pull off a car payment, with the right down payment. However it’s coming up with that down payment that is the problem. She always sees her co-worker and neighbor Steve with a new car and doesn’t understand how he can afford it. So this time, when she sees that car, she tells herself, “Ok that really pisses me off. How come he can get a new car and I can’t? I know we make the same and I don’t have near the amount of bills he has.” She glances over at her car, than back at his and again back at hers. “That’s it…I know I can afford a new car, if I can just come up with the down payment!” At this point, Mary goes back over her bills. She realizes that if she cuts a few items from her bill list, pulled some money from her savings, and put a couple of things off, then she could easily pull together the down payment she needs. Within a few weeks, Mary is at the dealership, she trades in her car, adds her down payment and walks away with a new (used) car. She feels good about herself and happy about her decision, even though she knows that she is going to have work a little harder over the next couple of months to get caught back up and replace her savings.
There are a few times when she starts having some regret, for her purchase. This is because someone has told her that she wasted money, or wasn’t being responsible about the purchase she made. It’s also because she realizes it’s taking a little longer then she planned to get caught back up. But knowing that her new car was giving her a little more freedom, she didn’t care. She was going to keep pushing forward and making her payments, because she knows in the end all her hard work, her sacrifice to get there would make it worth it. The best part, she is no longer pissed at her situation, her stress level is lower and she is overall much more happier than she was before she just broke down and bought the car.
This is an example of what I mean, each decision we make has a consequence. If Mary didn’t buy the car, like in the first example, chances are her car would have completely broke down and then she could have lost her job, which in turn would have created more stress and possibly even depression and that is a risk she would have taken. However, she chose to take the risk of buying a new one, despite not having the available resources at that moment. She made sacrifices and choices and she went forward with it, of course it could have backfired in her face, but any choice can do that. The fact is…she was more driven to make the change happen, because she was pissed, than when she said, “I’m so tired of….”
Let’s look at Example 2 again.
If you remember Joe and Sarah were a couple just trying to get by. Joe was working hard as a mechanic and Sarah was a stay at home mom. The problem Joe had was not standing up for himself and getting bullied at the same time. In the last example he didn’t want to stand up for himself, concerned about what would happen if he did. However, what if this time he says, “This pisses me off, something has to be done! I’m not going to stand for this anymore! That little punk wants me to do his work, spout orders, threaten my job and not lift a finger, than he’s about to find out I’m not playing that game anymore.”
So the next day, Joe goes in and has a talk with his boss. He tells him everything that has been going on and how he is done being a door mat. He finishes his talk with his boss by saying, “If this costs me my job, then so be it. I’m hard worker, I know how to do my job and do it right. I don’t deserve to be treated like this. I trust you will make the right decision in this situation.”
Now Joe goes home that afternoon, he feels better about himself, he is already feeling less stressed then he did prior and to help ease that he has already started looking for a new job, just in case. He even feels good about his decision to talk to his boss, even though he is nervous inside about what the results will be. Now in this instance, let’s say his choice to stand up for himself pays off. His boss calls him later that night and apologizes for what he’s been going through. He acknowledges that he is a good worker and that he does a great job. He assures Joe that he will take care of Craig. When Joe goes back to work on Monday, he finds out that Craig is no longer working there.
Now like the first example, Joe got pissed, he stated it and that emotion drove him to realize that he was worth so much more. That realization drove him to do what he needed to do for himself and for his family. It was a choice he made and a risk he took and of course each choice has a risk. The down side to that would have been that Joe could have lost his job, but he would have known that it would have been ok. Because any company that allowed their employee’s to be treated poorly, wasn’t a company he wanted to be working with. Of course if he had he stayed the original course, anything could have happened. He could have gotten fired anyways, he could have gotten hurt pulling someone else’s work load and trying to finish his as well. He could have developed health issues on top of it. Him and Sarah could have ended up in a divorce because of the stress and resentment that could have developed. Now that’s a bit extreme, some would say, but finances and stress are one of the biggest reasons for marriages to fall apart, so it’s not unlikely.
In both cases, both people had to get pissed before something could change. When we make a statement, we are making it real and bringing it to life. So it stands to reason to say that if we state we are tired of something, we will be tired, literally and not want to do anything. However, if we state we are pissed about something, we are more likely going to do something about the situation we are facing. We will always find a way to change it, even if it means we have to give up things to make it happen.
Fighting for yourself worth, for your dreams is always worth it. But allowing others to steal those dreams and to make you feel like you are unworthy is when we have to put our foot down.
So, if you want things to change in your life, you want things to be different. Stop saying, “I’m tired of…” and start saying, even if it’s to yourself, “I’m pissed…” because you are more likely to bring about change when you are pissed, than when you are tired.