The High Price of Being Realistic

A while back, a friend of mine and I were talking. She said that she wanted to do this trip in July, but that she:

1. Couldn’t afford it.
2. Couldn’t take the time off for it and her boss wouldn’t let her anyways.

When I told her to not think that way, that if she wanted it bad enough she would find a way, she came back to me with, I’m just being a realist.” At that moment I shook my head and I said the following to her:

“Being a realist doesn’t get you anything, it limits you and holds you back from your full potential, it makes you negative. You NEED to change that thinking, if you want things to change. If you really want it, then start telling yourself you will get it and start finding solutions for your problems, instead of problems for your solutions.”

My friend listened and took my advice, she decided to make it her goal to take the trip that she wanted to take and she decided to find a way to get the time off. She knows that she has vacation time, so she plans to put in a head of time for that and as for the money part, she is currently working on that and finding solutions for that as well.

I bring this up because so many times we use the words, “I’m just being a realist.” But that way of thinking limits us, it doesn’t allow us to move past where we are now, it just holds us back. Why? Because reality is what society lives by…it says that our dreams are too far out of reach. It says that we as single parents can’t afford to reach for new heights, because if we do, we are being “bad parents.” Realistic thinking says that we can’t take on a project or a task, because we aren’t strong enough, smart enough, or talented enough. It tells us we can’t afford to take action or that we don’t have the time and that we are better off struggling every day. Realistic thinking tells us that we are inadequate for our lives, for our dreams.

But these are lies…lies that we are programmed with, lies that we are expected to believe, lies that society supports and continues to remind us the moment we get excited about something that can possibly change our lives.

With being “realistic” does come negative thoughts, think about it. If we are realistic about not taking a trip, we remind ourselves that we “don’t have the money” or that we “can’t afford the time.” That in turn reminds us of what we do every day, how we can never afford to do the things we want, it reminds us of our jobs that we may not like or we may have just gotten laid off of. Which brings up feelings guilt and failure, because if we can’t afford to make memories and just be happy in our lives, then we aren’t succeeding in life. If we can’t afford the time to chase our dreams or spend time with our family, then we have somehow failed.

I know this feeling all too well, it was a feeling I got when I had to give up school. I had to stop school because of the needs of my family. When I was told that I shouldn’t give up on my dream, I simply said, “I’ll never get to finish school, so long as my time is taken up with being an advocate for my daughter. I’m just being realistic.” Saying those words made me feel horrible!! I felt like a failure, guilty, hopeless, unworthy, completely devalued of who I was. I felt like my dreams were out of reach and I was reminded that without completing school, I wouldn’t be able to get a “job” that would help support our family financially. It was like despite having amazing dreams for me and my family, I was nothing more than inadequate of anything more than being miserable.

That’s what being realistic is like, what it gets us. However, have you noticed the people around you, who tend to have more fun in their lives, who get to live their dreams and actually enjoy life? What sets them apart? Is it because they have tons of money or is it because they are just lucky? Actually it’s none of the above, it’s because they have a different mindset. You see if they were being “realistic” as we all are programmed to do, they wouldn’t be living their lives differently from us, they wouldn’t be happy. Instead they would be living life like everyone else feeling miserable, negative, and feeling inadequate for the dreams they have for themselves and for their loved ones.

Instead those people, they have taken the time to change their thoughts, their way of thinking. They have decided that “realistic thinking” doesn’t get you anywhere. We wouldn’t be given dreams if we weren’t meant to follow them. Those people have what they have because they have chosen not to listen to society, not to play by it’s rules, not be anything less than what they were meant to be. They aren’t special, they weren’t born into a better family or a rich family, they weren’t a genius. Instead they are just like you and me, they are mothers, fathers, unemployed, single, married, single with kids, students, construction workers, low income, middle class income, etc. They have the same things in common with us, but their way of thinking.

Realistic thinking does just that to us, it makes us less than what we were meant to be, its designed to kill our dreams, to essentially torture us by dangling the things we want for ourselves and our loved ones out in front of us, while making us feel like we are not adequate enough to obtain them. It’s what allows us to make excuses in our lives for not having the courage enough to make the changes we know we need.

It’s time to stop putting that “realistic” thinking away, it’s time to stop putting our foot down on ourselves and start putting our foot down on society. If people around us can obtain their dreams, than we can too. We weren’t born to be losers, we were born as winners. We weren’t given dreams to watch them die or go to waste, we were given dreams to make them come true. We are not inadequate for our dreams, we are more than adequate for our dreams, for our life. The best way to take that control back, is to open our minds, open our souls and start changing our way of thinking. We also have to be ready to tell society, our friends and others, who would sooner destroy any feeling of hope that we will not allow them to make us feel small anymore, like our lives are meant to be meaningless. We were not meant to live a second rate life, to settle for second best, we were given dreams to rise above that, to change the world in some way, form or fashion. We have to be the ones who step up and shout from the roof tops,


We need to take this action, we need to shout this out and then pursue it ferociously, without relenting to those types of thoughts again.

Realistic thinking is not what God gave us, He gave us dreams, because He wanted us to achieve them! Realistic thinking is a lie of inadequacy, of settling for second best. It’s a lie that holds us back, from being who we were meant to be. It was meant to prevent us from achieving amazing things in our lives. It closes our minds, closes our hearts, and makes us negative and resentful. It leaves us wishing, wanting, hoping for more, and torturing us by leaving it in our view, but just out of our reach.

Realistic thinking never made anyone happy, so why do it? Why give that kind of power over our lives to a thought that was meant to destroy us. As children we had such amazing dreams, we wanted to see the world, help others, be something more than what we saw, do more than what we saw being done. But as we grew up, those dreams were destroyed, they were taken from us, by people all around us and by a society that says that those dreams weren’t realistic. However I say they were…they were realistic, they were reachable, but we allowed ourselves to fall into the same trap, into the same pit of lies that those before us have fallen into.

It’s time to take back our lives, to take back our dreams! It’s time to change our thinking, to stop making excuses, to show the world that we will not settle for second best, because we were given the best. We have to show the world that anything is possible and that making the choice not to follow those ambitions and those dreams are not acceptable to us.

It’s time to put away the “realistic” thinking, and it’s time to reclaim our personal power, our desire, our dreams, our self-worth, our strength, and our hopes for the future. It’s time to be the person that we were born to be, not what society wants us to be. It’s time to live our lives as we were meant to live them and to stop wasting them for the lies that society has placed on us.

So let me ask you now…are you ready to take action? Are you ready to stop feeling inadequate? Are you ready to back your personal power? Are you ready for the life you were meant to live and for the person you were meant to be? If you are, if you are truly ready, then let me help start you on that path.  Click Here and I’ll  show you how 1000’s of others before you are doing exactly that!


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